Let's look at the pattern between you.
It happens again, sometimes over something small, and you both end up in the same old places. Or there's a distance between you that you can't quite account for. Something feels off, and you're not sure what it is.
Couples therapy is where we look at it together. When something between you flares up, or goes quiet, we start by getting curious about what's happening in each of you, before deciding who did what. Behavior still matters, and there may be a boundary, a request, or an apology on the other side of that. You can own how you affect each other and learn to catch the old pattern sooner.
How I work
I draw on several approaches and shape the work around the two of you. I'm warm, and I'm direct with both of you. When the pattern shows up in the room, and it usually does, I'll name it.
You can feel angry, hurt, closed off, or like you need space, and still choose how you act toward each other. I'll help you tell the difference between what you're feeling and what you do with it. Being honest about the first gives you more choice about the second: kindness, a straight answer, reassurance, or a clear boundary.
Staying close, staying yourself
Closeness and being your own person pull against each other in every relationship, and that tension never fully settles. I help each of you stay yourself without pulling away, and stay close without losing yourself. When that tension turns into conflict, what we work on is flexibility: interrupting the old pattern more often and finding your way back to each other with more awareness and kindness.
Sessions and fees
50-minute sessions, in person in Boulder or by telehealth in Colorado and Minnesota. Self-pay is $195 per session.
If you have Kaiser, Cigna, UnitedHealthcare, or Aetna, reach out to me and we can talk through your options.
It starts with a free call. You get a feel for how I work, and we decide together whether it's a fit.